Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Must We Be Outgoing

She's so antisocial. 

He must be so shy. 


No, she's not.

No, he's not.

And, well, scientifically speaking, yes, but no. Just no.

Why do introverts have such a bad rep?

Why must we be so outgoing?

Introverts think. They are very imaginative. They look at people and have brilliant ideas.

Extroverts share, they care. They're the first to ask you a question about your day. They look at you and give you a bright smile.

Extroverts, or outgoing people, tend to make more friends, because they give off a vibe that says "I really want to be friends".

But, guys, INTROVERTS ARE NICE TOO. THEY CARE ABOUT YOU. They'll help you pick up your books if you drop them, give you a quiet smile as you pass them in the hallway. They'll give you wise advice, they'll develop a deep connection with you.

So why, might I ask, are we afraid to be introverted? Why does introvert always mean antisocial. shy, and worst of all, mean?

The answer is simple: society. Afraid to be ourselves. Afraid to listen to music, read a book. Just because an introvert can't stand large crowds, has to take a break between social gatherings, and won't ask you five billion questions in under five minutes, doesn't mean they don't like people. They like people. They just feel more powerful when they're by themselves. We're taught from a young age to talk a lot, spend more time with people than alone.

I'm half introvert, half extrovert myself. Just because I don't answer all my texts because I'm busy, I don't know, writing or something, does not mean that I hate talking to you.

So, society, why are you discouraging introverts from being themselves?

I pledge, from this day forward, to not judge an introvert by their cover. It's okay if you're not outgoing. Tell me your deep thought when you are ready, I'm more than excited to hear it.



  1. I cannot express how hard it is when people shy away just because I am an introvert. My head may be stuck in the clouds 90% of the time, but I can talk to people, I can communicate, it's just that sometimes, people have to approach me. If it were the other way around, I would pretty much flip out. People have told me it's wrong to be shy-- but the question is, how is it wrong to be shy?!?!?! Why is it wrong?

    xoxo Morning

    1. It's not! Thank you very much for your input!

  2. I am personally an ambivert. You're right! Why is it wrong to be shy? There's no need to talk to everyone you come across. Just because I don't talk to loads of people except my friends doesn't mean I'm antisocial.

    I do have that outgoing, extrovert side when I'm trying new things, I'll admit :P

    Loved this post Oakstar <3


  3. I used to think that confidence and being outgoing was the key to happiness, but the only reason you'd force yourself to become an extrovert is because you care what people think, and in reality the key to happiness is not to rely on their opinions. So I guess that 'introvert' and 'extrovert' are just outsider labels. They don't tell us anything about who you are. Being outgoing is just a conscious decision about whether socialising makes you feel better. Not talking is okay if you have nothing to say. It's all about reactions and what's inside, even if other people can't see it.

    The Life of Little Me

  4. I really like this post! I'm an introvert, and I tend to talk to the people I know rather than everyone. Today, some one who was talking to me started saying that I needed to be more social, their definition of social being "talking to everyone at every single moment of spare time you have." The point is, I don't like it when other people tell you to be outgoing, and that it is necessary to be that way. Because, really, it isn't. Introverts and Extroverts both have their share of skills, and rather than telling them that they need to become more like the other personality type, I think that people should tell them that they should be proud of the qualities that they have.
    Loved this post!

    1. Thank you! And that is not social. That is obsessed. Loved hearing what you had to say.

  5. This, thisthisthisthisthissssss. All of this. I once had a coworker ask me, "Are you always this quiet?" during one of the first few weeks of my working there, and I was so uncomfortable. I'd talked, I responded politely to everything he said, and I wasn't like hiding in the corner with my face buried into a book, but because I was just listening and conversing in my own introverted way (which wasn't super chatty like an extrovert would be) I was perceived differently. And it can be hard sometimes. Small talk doesn't come easy to me. But I will happily listen to whatever you have to say or get excited about similar topics (such as different fandoms and fangirl-ish things), but I'm not usually one to initiate conversation. Thanks for this post! :)

    1. It's fine that you're not the one to initiate all conversations. I'm glad you liked it!