Thursday, 29 December 2016

2016





I could talk about how 2016 was kind of miserable for all of us, but then I'd just sink into the negativity that no one needs for the New Year.

Instead of talking about my own personal accomplishments and rewinding 2016 from my perspective, I've shared the Google Search video from 2016 because it is what touched me most about this New Year. It started off with some of the many awful things that happened, but continued with everything positive and wonderful that happened this year, backed with Grace Vanderwaal's beautiful song Light the Sky

I won't share what I intend for myself in 2017 (though there are a few things), because I feel that although everyone has their own goals they'd like to strive to achieve and their own agenda for self betterment, the most important thing to do right now is work as a collective. We must fight together against the darkness in the world, grow together with the light. And I think we all need to love each other more.

Thank you for all the blessings you online folk have given me in 2016. Let's continue to share the same amount of positivity and brightness in 2017.

love
Oakstar

Saturday, 26 November 2016

Contemplate

Contemplate

How can I step into an open field
Where I'm not sure the grass is green?
How can I give someone a map
When I have not yet found my way?
Lost. 

How can I sing that song with her,
While inside my heart is tweeting a different tune?
And how can I finish that story,
When I have not lived the ending myself?
Waiting.

How do I tell them we've lost everything,
When they were the ones who let everything get lost?
And how can I watch it roll out from afar,
If I was the one that started it rolling?
Alone.

How can I tell them I will pray for them 
If I don't believe in God, 
And how can I hold onto them,
While I fight my head that resents them for all the things they've plagued me with?
Lies.
And how can I read the emotions on your face,
If you've hastened to tell me all the emotions are gone?
And how can I tell you secrets,
If I've told them all while you listened to something else?
Gone.

How can I hide how much it all hurts,
While they tell me that I've already let everything out?
And how can I reassure by giving hugs,
While really using them to comfort me?
Hide.

But how can I figure out an excuse for dancing in public,
Because I am so overjoyed with emotion?
And how can I belt out the harmony
Without making myself cry?
Love.

___________________________________

This poem does not make sense, and it's not supposed to. I tried expressing  my thoughts on some current as well as past issues and dilemnas in my life, and the words came to first before I realized what I was trying to say with them. I hope that maybe you were able to enjoy it without really understanding it.

love always,
Oakstar
(yes, that was a reference to Perks of Being a Wallflower because I'm going through a phase)

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Sometimes

Sometimes

Most times, I drive with the windows up.
I don't listen to music because it's too loud and too distracting to play in the car,
and I'm too busy concentrating on everything else on my mind
that I forget to to breathe in the smell of new car.

But sometimes, I drive with the windows down.
And I let the music blast, fill my ears with joy until I'm so caught up in emotion that everything becomes silent,
and I'm too distracted by the wind blowing in my hair
that I forget to worry about things that I don't have to worry about.

Most times, I don't dance in public.
Music plays in my ears that I tend to ignore, push away
for fear of being judged,
and I'm too scared of the prospect of overwhelming joy
that I am overcome with overwhelming sadness. 

But sometimes, I tap my feet
to the rhythm in my head, 
and suddenly everything I worried about I push away from my mind,
and I can't hear the sound of other people's thoughts
because they don't matter.
And the world around me spins
in the most stunning, absolutely dazzling way.

Most times, I don't tell people of my dreams, 
because they're too insane to voice, 
and if people were to read the thoughts in my head
I think they would be too scared to approach me. 
And I let my dreams haunt my sleep,
because I don't pay enough attention to them while I'm awake.

But sometimes, I share my dreams with people,
And instead of becoming scared they become inspired.
Not often, but sometimes they join with me in dreaming it,
and it uplifts me and it uplifts them.
We both forget what it was like to be afraid of dreaming,
and instead, we shine. 

Most times, I forget to live. 
But sometimes, I remember.
And it's those times that make life worth living. 

-Oakstar

Saturday, 5 November 2016

7 Reasons You're Awesome

  1. You've come a long way. You've overcome a whole lot of battles that maybe one or two people in your life actually know about. You've spent hours of your life looking in the mirror trying to accept the way you look, you've set your jaw looking at a math test you came a long way just to prepare for, and you're ready to ace it. You've come to terms and accepted yourself for your sexuality, your gender, your race or nationality. You used to have trouble embracing your culture but now you take pride and joy in it. You completed Nanowrimo. You used to be afraid to speak up while working on group projects, but now you speak your opinion with confidence and even throw in a smile. You have fought and struggled for the right to be yourself in front of others, but also for the right to be yourself, for yourself. And your scars are simply a reminder of how far you've come. Show them off with pride because you deserve that recognition.
  2. You are so unique. You wear the clothes you love, that you feel comfortable in. You enjoy things other people might find completely out of the ordinary, whether that be a certain sport or musical outlet, or knitting warm woolly hats. You have an eclectic taste in music that includes Bon Jovi's greatest hits as well as some classical piano. You come up with great puns, or are ten times quicker to get any literary joke than anyone else. You know the Matilda the Musical soundtrack by heart (guilty, I am listening to it by heart) but you can't sing for your life. You are completely original and unapologetically you, and because of it you are so beautiful. 
  3. You have an idea, you're just not sure how to bring it out to the world yet. Or you're working on an idea that will be sure to change the world, and it is/will be so inspiring that bubbles of inspiration are already starting to float out of your mouth and ears. And the bubbles of inspiration smell like vanilla, and because they smell good, YOU smell good too, which is another reason why you're awesome! You WILL change the world for a lot of people, or maybe it will just be for a few. But your impact will matter, and it will be so worth everything you put into it. 
  4. You're hella bleeping talented. Like, hella. You can write circles around your friends, or maybe bust out melodies that no one else can. Your pumpkin cupcakes are to die for (shoutout to Noor I'm lookin at you), and you can run fastest on your team. Maybe you aren't the best at something that first pops into someone's head, like singing or dancing. Maybe you have an incredible gift for knowing exactly what to say when people need to hear it, or you're just really good at knitting warm woolly hats (this is the second time I've brought up warm woolly hats- can someone knit me one? like a soft one? please? jkjk). Maybe you haven't even discovered your talent yet, but one day, you will, and when you do, watch out world. God bless. 
  5. You have people you'd die for, and people out there would die for you. You love people. Your family, some of your best friends. The people that have changed your life for the better. I've realized that when people are on my list, I am happier, because I am so full of love that I've stopped counting the ways I have to express it. You may not even have met the people you'd take a bullet for, but you just know, some people are worth saving just as you are. You love them and they love you. Hugs for everyone. 
  6. You're adorable. You dance in the rain, and you laugh out loud when you're not supposed to. You sing horribly, and you have weird quirks that no one really understands but everyone finds adorable. The way your eyes light up while talking about a certain topic that inspires or excites you also lights up the room. 
7. You've realized that you are worth it. It may have taken you a forever and a half to realize that you mean something to this world. Years and years of fighting against your instinct to resent yourself and others, before actually seeing for yourself how truly wonderful, awe-inspiring you actually are. You shine and bask in this newfound glory, this self-acceptance, this confidence that radiates from your entire being. You are worth taking that extra step, you are worth taking care of yourself and loving yourself and admitting that you're actually really awesome. And that just makes you even more awesome. So you go, queen. 

This is my love song to the world. 

-Oakstar

Thursday, 3 November 2016

Nano Rambles

I remember writing a really cringey post around this time two years ago entitled "How Are Y'all Doing With Nanowrimo?" or something equally cringey like that. I was much too overly optimistic then. That year, I had gone only with a 32000 word goal, because I was worried about it interfering with my school work. This year, since my school work has already gone downhill, I thought I might as well just aim for the 50000 like the idiot I am.

So now, I sit here procrastinating on homework AND writing at the same time. I caught up on some blogs, and now I'm trying to write a meaningful post of my own.

Three days in, and I've consumed the majority of Halloween candy I collected. I must've eaten every single type of junk food there is in the past forty eight hours, and I am also internally. dying. but. what. else. is. new. 

And that's what writers go through in the month of November, amiright?! 

This year, the creative writing club at my school has set up a classroom for those competing themselves in Nanowrimo, and even though I've been asked to join, I'm still debating it becauseI succeed more pushing myself and I'm not sure a support group directly linked to my school would help me in any way... I like to compartmentalize everything in my life. It's probably not healthy mentally, but is any writer truly sane? I must've lost my sanity a while ago. 

If anyone would like to word war, please let me know down below! I'm on the younger site this year, but maybe we could work something out.

Does anyone else feel like that if they share their novel ideas with other people, they become less inspired to write it? I find it much better to keep it a secret, maybe so I don't start second guessing the idea before I finish writing it. Who's with me on this?

Goodnight, and good luck to everyone doing Nanowrimo. I'm going to go drown myself in caffeine now, and next week I will probably be rambling again. Stay tuned for an exciting November.

-Oakstar 

p.s. what is this kind of content I promise some good poetry and stuff in the near future I'm so sorry 


Sunday, 30 October 2016

Recently

WRITING
Preparing for Nanowrimo. I'll be writing a YA novel that explores the intricacies of the ways people process grief and emotion, and I will also be living vicariously through my characters like bad parents do to their children. 

READING
Chris Colfer's treasury of classic fairy tales, and of course I'm still working on Moby Dick. Also, Kit's Wilderness by David Almond.

LISTENING TO
A lot of One Republic. Secrets, Good Life, I Lived, Let's Hurt Tonight. And of course Glee covers. All the Klaine duets, and the Rocky Horror covers. 

WATCHING
*coughs* Well, besides Glee, I recently saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show and it was the most interesting production I've seen in my life. Of course, I had to splash my eyes with holy water afterward, but it was worth it. 10/10 would recommend if you don't mind being scarred for life. 


Over November, I'll be doing several posts rambling about writing, not unlike a lot of other bloggers I'm sure. Good luck with Nanowrimo everyone who's doing it!

-Oakstar

Sunday, 16 October 2016

A LOT of Reasons to Smile

Well, here it is! The master list, comprised of answers from whoever I could ask. Thank you for being so patient with me, and specially thank you to everyone who was kind enough to contribute!


Looking at this list, all shiny and full of reasons to smile, will make you smile. Hopefully it will brighten up people's days as much as it has mine. Enjoy!

"hearing people laugh is one of my favorites." -Vanessa Best



"what makes me smile is when other people smile because something good happened to them. and dan howell smiling." -Noor

"When someone does something nice for another person, even though they don't have to. That always makes me smile." -dropthatwand 



"My dog's wagging tail.
Inside jokes.
"Supernatural" convention panels.
Texts in all caps.
Emoticons.
Tweets from Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Cooking with my family." -The Magic Violinist



"My family makes me smile the most. Whenever I'm going through any type of crises or I'm feeling depressed and alone, when I'm feeling sad or mad with myself, I know that my family is there for me no matter what. The whole world could be against me but there'll always be people I can count on to be by my side and I'm fortunate to have a mom a dad and two wonderful brothers that are there for me through thick and thin. I can't even begin to describe how much family means to me. My family is the thing that makes me smile most‍." -K

"What makes me most happy is performing...whether it's a full blown musical or just a song in front of a microphone, it makes me happy knowing that i can touch someone! people tell me that i make them happy or make them cry. it makes me smile knowing that i can affect someone in that way and it's the reason i perform and why I have a passion for theater!!!" -J

"What makes me happy is seeing everyone else happy." -M

"Hope makes me smile. There is promise for the future, and even if the present is horrible, there is always hope. That makes me truly smile." -Abbi


"- family
- friends
- dancing
- having intelligent/witty conversations
- pretty dessert
- pretty dessert that tastes good
- stuffing my face with said dessert
- being warm, preferably cuddling with someone and/or reading and/or having a fuzzy blanket
- people being kind on social media
- pretty food
- pretty food that tastes good
- stuffing my face with said food
- wait what?
- esthetically pleasing spaces
- babies
- puppies
- kittens
- old people
- other people smiling
This is a long list. I guess I smile a lot. I could keep going but I already wrote a book so bye" -Z

"Friends."-Arig

"Because decent people still exist." -Emma



"When strangers smile at me.
When my friends tag me in a Tumblr post they think I'd like.

"What makes me smile is laughing and conversing with my dearest friends.
Another thing that makes me smile are the Harry Potter books, and in general, all books." -Jollygirl

"Dogs!" -Abby

"Inside jokes, and dirty jokes with my friends." -Emma (she and I have plenty of those)

"Friends, music and writing." -Vanessa 

"My girlfriend." -Roxanne

"My friends at Girl Guides." -Nico

And my favourite one that I received: 

"It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly makes me smile. After all, there are so many things. Just reading your post made me crack a smile.

But smiling is kind of an involuntary action when you’re happy, right? It is like a universal sign of happiness. It’s something that people try to hide when they are trying to be mad. It’s something that some people are insecure about doing because they don’t like the way it looks.

And it’s true that we, as humans, don’t spend every waking moment smiling. There are bad things that happen and we get overwhelmed by other emotions. We frown and we cry and we feel bad. And so knowing that we can still smile after bad things happen is pretty special. It means that we can come back from whatever is going on.

I know a lot of people are going to say that seeing other people smile makes them smile. After all, it’s kind of contagious. But it’s true. The reason I smile is because other people smile. I smile because I know it’s possible to overcome anything and I smile because we’re able to still be happy, just like we are able to be sad." -WaterUndertheBridge

Now, for me. I've thought a lot about what makes me smile recently, because not a lot has been able to really do that for me. 

I, to be honest, am a little self absorbed, and I've come to terms with that and work toward being less so self-centered and more aware about everyone around me. But what comes from being so aware of myself also aids me in realizing why I feel certain ways and being able to pinpoint when I'm feeling a certain emotion. Most of the time when I'm happy, I'm with friends, or listening to Glee music. I know a lot of people listed friends as their reason for smiling, but I think I'm just going to have to add my name to that list. The power of friendship is so underestimated in real life. I'd be lost without my friends, I wouldn't be able to function without their love and support. We accept one another for our crazy and our flaws, and we point out the best in each other.

And when I look at this list, and know some of what people have gone through before giving me their reasons, knowing the stories behind some of the names, I can't help but smiling at the resilience of humanity, the strength of our minds and hearts, and the fact that we can all come together and name the reasons why we smile. It's so beautiful and so special.

Hope you smiled at this list. <3 font="">

-Oakstar



Saturday, 17 September 2016

What Makes Me Smile

The What Makes You Smile project has been on the backburner for quite some time now (even though it's stayed nice and warm in my mind), but I'm finally bringing back into the open! Who's excited?


ill never run out of use for this gif I'm sorry
Okay, no one's quite that excited (except me). But to get you guys just a little excited, here is a taste of what this master list is going to be like, except on a smaller, less important scale coming from just one person. Next week comes the large compilation, so get ready! If you'd like to answer, there's still time. Click here. I'd like to have as many answers as possible! Anyway, here goes my list (though my real answer will still be part of the large compilation):


  1. Swim meets.
  2. Small traditions shared with friends. 
  3. The "pop!" when you open up a can of soda. 
  4. Walking to Starbucks in the rain.
  5.  Sunshine through the window sill. 
  6.  Actual good fanfiction. 
  7.  Finding books that help you at just the right point in your life.
  8. Pumpkin cupcakes.
  9. Writing something while listening to video game instrumental, so everything seems much more epic and intense than it actually is. 
  10. Epiphanies. 
  11. Team spirit.
  12. Binge watching Glee covers on Youtube and not being able to pick a favourite.
  13. A twelve year old ukulele player completely killing America's Got Talent.
  14. Quokkas exist.
  15. Being underwater.
  16. We are not alone in the universe.
  17. Trying to split a boston cream donut and then laughing when you end up covered in chocolate
  18. Leaving a large, loud party to start your own party with your closest friends.
  19. Stranger Things- don't even get me started. 
  20. Writing long letters to friends. 
  21. Comparing someone or being compared to a part of earth or something in the sky.
  22. Reading other blogs. Each one is so beautiful.
  23. Having other people read my blog. That's so cool.
  24. Pictures with my friends from good times that I can look back on and reminisce and love. 
  25. Listening to music from before 2014 because I feel that's when everything started going downhill. 
  26. Taking pictures of my friends when they actually look happy, when they're not posed and even though they're flawed we can still remember why we took the picture instead of just all the attempts at being artsy. If that makes any sense. 
  27. Making people laugh.
  28. Missing someone.
  29. Dancing in the weirdest of places.
  30. When celebrities are relatable. For instance, Darren Criss pretending to be an octopus because same. 
  31. Listening to people laugh. I've never heard a laugh I found ugly or bad to listen to. Why would I ever want to start listening to the sound of utter joy? I'd RATHER listen to the sound of your dying seal laugh than not hear the expression of happiness at all. 
That was my shortish list of things that make me smile. I'll have a more thought through answer next week but that was just a little snippet. I can't wait to roll out the long list! If you're reading this and haven't answered and would like to PLEASE PLEASE DO!! Much love, and get excited for next week :)

-Oakstar


Sunday, 11 September 2016

First Week of School Thoughts

via
I promise to include as many Struck by Lightning gifs in this post as possible because I feel it best represents my mood. 

This post was brought to you by all the ridiculous things I've thought during my first week of school. Enjoy.



  1. I hate this. 
  2. This is horrible. 
  3. It's nine a.m. and I'm already drenched in sweat. 
  4. OMG FRIEND I HAVEN'T SEEN IN TWO MONTHS
  5. I've expended my social energy for the year with that enthusiastic greeting.
  6. I hope I get the same english teacher as last year. Oh would you look at that I didn't
  7. Is now too early to give up 
  8. Is this the real life, is this just fantasy, caught in a landslide, no escape from reality...
  9. Am I the only one without a Jansport? 
  10. Oh look someone I kind of know must avoid eye contact 
  11. The grade eights look so tiny
  12. Do I know her?
  13. Wow I found a person I actually like 
  14. Ohmygod stop dabbing
  15. My math teacher is an ESFJ.
  16. What even is grade ten math
  17. What
  18. Where did she get that number from?
  19. Guys am I supposed to understand this
  20. She barely even knows what she's doing either
  21. OKAY SHE PULLED THAT NUMBER OUT OF THIN AIR
  22. What does division mean
  23. Okay that problem's answer is literally not an answer
  24. Like there is not a valid answer
    same
  25. I have a rising panicky feeling in my chest and I do not know why
  26. How come my career class is offered only in french, I don't want a french career
  27. I'm supposed to write an essay about what I want to do with my life, okay... "La première chose que veux faire après le secondaire est de déménager quelque part d'autre pour continuer mes études avec une université anglaise." (if you tell me what this means in the comments you get a virtual brownie)
  28. Why is this survey asking such personal questions
  29. Oh look I'm in accelerated french yay
  30. Why did my teacher just tell me that I'll go farther in life than people who weren't put in accelerated french
  31. nope nope noppity nopeeee
  32. I've already been assigned two tests
  33. My science teacher is certainly very enthusiastic about science
  34. She's quirky I like her
  35. They've changed my entire history course to something extremely biased and I am absolutely against it
  36. I really don't want to learn about this stuff this year
  37. This has absolutely no purpose in life whatsoever and I will never use it ever
  38. My favourite subject is now lunch
  39. I like the weirdest songs compared to everyone else
  40. Why would anyone ever want to be the Romeo to someone's Juliet... you'd die after a short semi okay romance
  41. So we're working on a pack of poems this class? We have to write notes? okay den
  42. Ooh a poem with swear words fun
  43. WAIT WHY IS SHE PICKING UP OUR WORK ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
  44. Great now my teacher's first assignment from me will be me highlighting random words in random poems pretending to know what I'm doing
  45. Was I supposed to have finished going through all the poems?
  46. whelp I just failed my first english assignment
  47. That's a shame
  48. Oh look at this fifty question math assignment due tomorrow
  49. stOp wiTh thE daBBing 
  50. Harambe is a forced meme
  51. At least we don't have an overly dramatized cheerleading squad at my school, that seems to be more of an American thing
  52. Should I join Glee Club
  53. I owe it to the show
  54. But my voice sucks 
  55. But I love singing
  56. Just do it sign your name
  57. But what if I fail my audition?
  58. Just do it.
  59. okay fine
  60. Taking the train is fun. 
  61. My mom is late picking the people in my carpool up from the train well waiting here might be awkward
  62. the kids in my carpool have great taste in music
  63. omg they really do
  64. So I'm not the only one obsessed with that song? YAY!!
  65. Wow I made some new friends today
  66. I just want to go home and watch stranger things
  67. Ooh I'm going to join the outdoor pursuits club
  68. That way my gym teacher can see that I actually do care about physical education
  69. But only specific types really
  70. I want Girl Guides to start I need some happiness in my days
  71. Everything good is happening next week.
  72. I'm going to sing Piano Man for my Glee Club audition
  73. Oh I forgot to do my homework
  74. I'm so hungry always hungry 
  75. Drama is my new favourite class
  76. Omg we're doing a Grease tableau omg
  77. I'm going to subtly place myself on the boys' side because my loyalty is to the tbirds
  78. Great now I've been chosen to be blindfolded and directed by the class to find a ball and place it in a basket
  79. I'm the center of attention watch me trip over something
  80. I'm so awkward goddammit
  81. eyyy I found the ball
  82. eyyy I found the crate
  83. Ey I survived 
  84. People may think I'm exaggerating when I talk about how done I am with everything but I'm not
    I promise I'm not always this angsty in real life
  85. Now it's time to
  86. Ugh morning
  87. I wish we could stop for coffee in the morning on the way to the train
  88. I'm so tired TGIF

Though a bit dark, I present to you my real thoughts throughout the entire first week of school. My favourite part of writing this was coming up with the Struck by Lightning (and one Stranger Things) gifs to match all the angst. And also writing little notes down on the side of my math paper to add to the post.

Would you be interested in seeing a vlog from an outdoor excursion that I took with my friend? Let me know in the comments. 

-Oakstar

Friday, 9 September 2016

Are You Happy?

Are you happy? you might ask me, and I won't know how to respond.

I suppose I could lie through my teeth like a reply to a dentist drilling into them, tell you I'm happy, because I have nothing to be sad about.

I could tell you that I do well in school, but that is only the numbers, and I could tell you that I have a lot of friends, but that again is only the numbers.

Are you happy? But what is happy, what does it mean? How do I know when I myself am happy, and how do I know when others are happy?

I could tell you that I laughed today, but how do you know it was not at the expense of another? I could tell you I smiled all day, but so do the glossy girls on magazine covers.

But are you sad? you might ask me, and I'd tell you the truth if I knew it my self.

I suppose I could tell you that school's a bore, that I'm tired all of the time. But can I not accept that and be happy?

Are you sad? But I'm not. Not most of the time.

Are you happy? I sang today, with people I care about. I found a secluded little park and I whispered words of gratitude to the grass below me.

But if I spoke the truth, you wouldn't be able to take it, because how can I put into words what I cannot put into feeling?

And what about you? Are you happy?


Some complex inner thoughts to confuse your day.
-Oakstar

Monday, 5 September 2016

The Wisteria Writer's Tag

I've been nominated to do the Wisteria Writer's Tag! I haven't done a tag in sooo long, and I've been thinking a lot about writing recently, so this worked out perfectly. Thank you so much Morning for tagging me! This was how excited I was:

idk who did this, but thank you so much. and if you, creator of this gif, ever stumbles upon here please tell me so I can credit you. 


The Rules!
 1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
2. Answer the ten questions.
3. Write ten questions of your own.
4. Nominate other people for the tag.

1. Take your most despised store. Describe what it looks like and why you hate it. Now, imagine your protagonist and antagonist of your current WIP visiting the store for the first time, separately. How would they react, and what would they buy? ("Nothing," won't be an acceptable answer!)

My most despised store, huh. That would have to be a solely Canadian-based store, a woman's clothing store by the name of Joshua Perets. I've hated it ever since I was extremely little, because to me, it always represented the lack of originality in my class. Everyone owned the same clothes from the same store, all neon coloured with a dogon them. The store itself is purplish black so the plasticky clothes can stand out extra bright against the walls, and there is always generic pop music blasting from the inside. 

My current protagonist walking in would initially be extremely shocked by the brightness of the clothes in the store, and would want to turn right back out at the sound of whatever song (most likely from Taylor Swift or Meghan Trainor) is blasting. But she would continue with caution, and to get out of there as quick as she could, she would buy the first dulled down thing she sees, which would probably be a grey sweater with an incredibly vibrant magenta dog on it. 

My antagonist would walk in by accident, because he wouldn't go in there on purpose, ever. He wouldn't be caught dead in a clothing store as such. He would be blinded initially by the colours as well, but he would accidentally grab a bright highlighter yellow sports bra because he doesn't want to stay there for any longer than he has to. He would only see what he bought after leaving the store, and he would give it to his confused-looking ten year old little sister, who wouldn't know what to do with something so hideous. 


2. Do you have quirky writing rituals you need to in order to begin writing, such as editing with the door closed and a purple pen, all while wearing mismatched fuzzy socks? If you do, describe them.

In order to properly work and concentrate, I must listen to the weirdest video game music I can find. It helps with my creative process, making everything seem much more meaningful than it actually is. I also sit in the worst possible positions for my back and neck, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

3. Which of your characters from your WIP embodies what your entire writing process resembles?

This question...wow. I feel like the two main characters in my WIP both represent what my book is all about, which is overcoming and growing within one's self. But the character I think embodies it more is Dan, who grows as the book grows and is a lot more than meets the eye. I also love him to death. 

4. List the top three writing conferences you'd want to visit.

San Francisco Writing For Change,The Ontario Writer's Conference, and idk. 

5. If you had to collaborate with a published author, who would it be and what would you two write about?

WAIT, JUST ONE?!? Omg, okay, let me think about this. You know, I'd really love to work with J.K. Rowling, but I'd be too worried about cramping her style. So I'd have to go with Chris Colfer, the author of The Land of Stories. He seems much more of a real person to me, which won't make any sense to anyone except me. If I don't scare him away from asking him too many questions about Glee, it would be cool to work on a crime or murder mystery novel with him, because then at least he'd be stepping out of his comfort zone too and we'd be closer to the same level (by a little, but it's something). 

6. Your sources of inspiration?

Random conversations I hear at restaurants, picture online or on Pinterest, the forest by the park near my house, and circumstances my friends and I find ourselves in, more often that not extremely weird ones. 

7. Quick! You're on a five minute break from editing-- but your first choice of food to snack on ran out! Name your other two brain foods.

What do you mean we ran out of frozen blueberries?!? Well if I can't have those, then I guess I'll go with an orange or a popsicle. (the only reason most of this is healthy is because I need something full of flavour and juice to keep my own writing juices flowing)

8. What's a writing-related question that bothers you when people ask?

Can you put me in your book? This always bugs me because I'm more likely to put people in my book who don't ask. And if I don't put someone in my book who asks me then I feel like an ungrateful friend and that just leads me down a pit of despair and just no.

9. List two songs that would describe both the good and bad sides of your deuteragonist.

I just learned a new writing term! I don't know if I should've known what a deuteragonist is but now I do and I cannot be happier. Mike is my deuteragonist, because I feel that he is second most important to the story.... he's kind of dead, though. Well, he is dead. But he is the second largest part of the story. 

His good side is tough but understanding. He doesn't relate well to other people's emotions, but he tries his hardest. He's not a natural empath, but he knows when the people closest to him need love. He is wild and free and spontaneous. I feel like Heat of the Moment by Asia represents well what his good side is like... or was. Because he's dead. I know that this song is about a bad relationship, but I feel that it also captures a lot of freedom and youth in it as well. dean randomly dies in the shower

His bad side is a lot of emotional turmoil, confusion, and not accepting himself. It's hiding himself from the world because he's worried about not being accepted and loved. It's driving himself to a point of near insanity, pushing limits for the sake of pushing them, and sometimes pushing away even the people he loves because of all the anger and sadness inside. I think that the song that best represents the guilt and anger and sadness he feels inside is actually Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

10. Up to this point, what is your current word count for this post?

1212 words.

My questions:
  1. Do you listen to music while you write?
  2. Who is your favourite character, out of all of your WIPs or completed works? Least favourite?
  3. What word do you use too often while writing? 
  4. Have you ever based a character off of someone you know in real life? 
  5. What word of advice would you say to your protagonist if you met them in person? 
  6. Do you think you'd get along with your deuteragonist? 
  7. How diverse is your set of characters for your current WIP?
  8. Say your work gets published and a fan comes up to you on the street and asks for a bit of advice on getting works published. What little tidbit of advice would you tell them to hold onto?
  9. What is your favourite quote from one of your WIPs?
  10. What book was your gateway into realizing you wanted to write? 

I tag Nadine, and whoever has been stalking this tag like I have, but hasn't been nominated yet. Here's your chance. I'm looking at you. I can't wait to read your answers!



-Oakstar


Friday, 2 September 2016

Windows to the Soul

Windows to the Soul
by Oakstar 

Some etch poetry 
about a blissful blue, 
holding within, the depths of a thousand lakes
and the clean cut of crystal.

Some hum melodies
of a soulful brown,
the mournful glow of what makes things grow,
and the honey taste of happiness.

Some surround stories
over a gleaming green,
the tickle of warm grass on a summer's day,
and the sparkle of the sapient sea. 

But few speak
of an inner star,
the ray of light shining from an epiphany, 
and the beckoning beams of  love,
and the glances that share the emotions of a dozen suns. 

Eyes are the windows to the soul.

_____________________

Happy September everybody!
Let me know what you think of this little poem.

-Oakstar



Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Summer Reading

Maybe I wouldn't dislike summer reading as much if the books they forced us to read didn't get increasingly horrible as the years go on.

Though I am what some people would call an avid reader (I prefer the term book hoarder), I dislike the concept of summer reading enforced by schools.

"Oh, but you love reading," everyone tends to reply, which really only sends me into a deeper mood as I sit begrudgingly on my couch, reading something that is only managing putting me asleep, instead of exciting me and keeping my brain stimulated over the course of the summer.


I think it's great that libraries are encouraging children to read over the summer. For a lot of kids who do not attend summer camp, or don't do anything over the summer, their creative juices are often impacted, making the adjustment into school harder for them. If children and teenagers choose to not seek out books by themselves, and if their parents do not encourage summer reading, then yes, they may end up very un-stimulated by the end of the roughly two month period. 

Reading is a wonderful thing. It lets the mind enter an alternate reality, sometimes not even following the same rules as our own. I relish in opening a new book, discovering a new world as my own private place. And during the school year, I'm often forced to crack open books that I would rather not be forced to read, and after reading them, we spend months discussing them, squeezing every inch of meaning out of the sentences until each is bone dry. I either end up with a profound appreciation for a book (which has happened once, with Feed), or I end up vaguely remembering the reason I liked it in the first place, having stripped the book of its heart. The books also become plagued with memories of bad grades, embarrassing pronunciations in class, rushing to do homework in the morning because I had forgotten that it was due first period that day. 

That is why in the summer, I like spending extra time with the books that I have gotten the pleasure to read, in the privacy of my own space, alone. Maybe I'm just too introverted for my own good in this case. I get to delve into the mysteries of it in my own time, coming up with greater meaning, but not ruining the book. I do not tire myself of them. My favourite book ever is The Humans written by Matt Haig, and I have enjoyed sharing my emotions only with the book itself. It helped me in ways that I know would be mocked by my classmates (and probably by my teacher too). It was on the list for next year's summer reading, but I had read it this summer because I was too intrigued by it to wait. I'm so glad I read it this summer, because I have another year to let myself process it in solitude, carefully figure out why it means so much to me. 

Anyway, back to the rant bit: When forced to read by schools out of a specific set list of books, children and teenagers are not being encouraged to open themselves up to a brand new world of books. They are not going to discover a newfound love of of reading, because they simply will have a school mindset about it.  They will be forced to take time out of whatever they are doing in the summer, and sit and read, controlling themselves, trying to remember what was taught to them throughout the year. 

In fact, for me, summer reading actually stopped me from reading as much as I had liked (or at least in my twisted way of viewing it). I have been trying to read Moby Dick all summer (and I've sincerely been enjoying it), but every time I picked it up, I would remember the summer reading I'd have to do.

Like my mom, you might argue that I could have just gotten it done within the first two weeks of summer, finished my notes, and forgotten about it (Which would have messed me up for the test we take on the first day of school on the books we read during the summer. That's right, a test on the first day of school:))). But, I don't believe that after ten months of waking up at six a.m. every day, doing tests and projects what also felt like every day, that students should have to regulate their summers according to school rules. I believe in complete and utter freedom from the stress of school during summer. 

And then the notes we are required to write for the first day of school! Almost all english teachers like to have specific preferences for how students write: some prefer cursive, double spaced, single spaced, etc. But students don't know these rules beforehand, and I've even seen points getting deducted just because students weren't able to foresee the future (usually only by teachers of the  Umbridge-like kind). 

If we were allowed to pick the books we read, teachers would be able to get to know our interests at the beginning of the year, and might even learn about how all us students learn best in the process. It would also encourage students to delve into themselves and find what really interests them. 

I know a lot of people, probably much more mature, less stubborn people will disagree with me on this, and this was an extremely long-winded, rambly post. But I've thought a lot about this, and this is the way I feel. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, so please let me know how you feel about this in the comments. Also, let me know if you'd like to read more of these rambles on different aspects of school. I'm planning on doing one on standardized testing in the future, and tie that in with mental illness. 

-Oakstar

Thursday, 11 August 2016

Dwell on Dreams

But Why do We Dwell on Dreams?

Visions scribbled hastily on spare pieces of paper
Revelations leaving the mouth before fully entering the mind 
Doodles etched in the margins of a notebook
And drunkenness on the whispered promises of the future.

Clouds are the ripples of the sky
And stars are the freckles of the night
But why do we dwell on dreams?

Eyes sparkling before closing for a beat
Satin slipping on a smooth surface
A ray from a stage filling all sight
And a heartbeat quickening with the rise of a crescendo.

Wind is God's melody
And leaves are the tree's children
But why do we dwell on dreams?

Fractured light leaving a frosted lamppost
The echo of adventure in the banging shut of a door
The hatching of an egg, the promise of a full life.
And being alone in a forest, apart from the ghosts.

Dawn is the prayer of the sun
And dusk is the gift wrap of the moon
But why do we dwell on dreams?

A star, light years away, an inch from the iris
Hands molding something there into something new
Matter dispersing but never disappearing
And ideas developed as they fail.

Rainbows are the heart's pride
And raindrops are the angel's tears of joy
But why do we dwell on dreams?

A bead of sweat trickling down an arm
The touch of a hand to grass and then to sky
The cool silver on the lips of a champion
And the swell of pride in a chest of a fighter.

Space is the place of questions for answers
And matter is a clump of non-touching atoms

But why do we dwell on dreams?

Heat conserved in layers of comfortable clothes
Ceramic mugs slipping through cold fingers
The laughter of friends echoed on snowy nights
And a song shared together.

Love is the life of us all
And unity is the stitch of the universe
But why do we dwell on dreams?

O, they ask why we dwell on dreams.

-Oakstar

___________________________

I wasn't sure what this poem would mean when I started writing it. I had a general idea that it would be about writers, but as I began writing about the little things that writers did, I got a strange empty feeling and decided to expand on it to include everyone who had dreams, whether it was about the arts, sports or science... or anything. 

I was also thinking about a quote by Albus Dumbledore- "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." But I think that sometimes dreams remind us to live.

Sometimes, when we're broken or hanging on to life by a single thread, if we're drowning in a whirlpool of darkness and trying to claw our way out, dreams are what we live for. They become the thread we're hanging onto, and with a lot of love, the thread grows into a rope we can use to pull ourselves out for some air. 

Whatever your dream may be, and no matter how practical it is or is not, I beg of you, do not let it go. Hold onto it, give it lots of love and nurture it until it grows strong enough to be your own strength. And do not give up on those who are helping you achieve your dream. And whether it is big or small or in between, it still matters. No dreams are stupid, no dreams are not worth fighting for. So fight for your dreams, and fight for yourself.

love,
Oakstar

(Cough Syrup covered by Blaine Anderson on Glee makes a great to listen to for deeper thoughts)

Sunday, 17 July 2016

The Way We Spread Stories

The Way We Spread Stories

Rock and granite were the first. Pictures, then ideas, then words, and then sentences etched into the earth’s memory, something that helped the present understand the past.

Ink and parchment were next. The ink would grace the parchment, and the two would synthesize and form something brand new, something that would inspire many.

Pen and notebook soon followed. A runny flow of ink dispersing itself across a lined page to create something so beautiful, that though fictional onto it some people still cling.


Keyboard and cramped fingers is something of the now. A gentle, peaceful clicking matching the rhythm of my own heart, and will lead me to discover something that was already there all along.

This is the evolution of how we spread stories. How we spread knowledge of the past. How we spread the journey of our lives.

-Oakstar

Friday, 15 July 2016

I Went to New York City




I went to New York
And there were big flashy lights
I couldn't see stars.



The whaling sirens, the ghosts of somewhere quiet.
The honking cab horns.
The words flung from mouths of those who grace the city.


The big buildings were daunting.


Columns reminiscent of our past. They are the keys to our ancestors, the creators and discoverers.


The billboards lit up the sky.
The billboards, instead of the stars.


But however much noise there was, there was also serene. Calm. Quiet.


There were busy, bustling crowds and the demand for merchandise. And for more merchandise. And for more... just, more.

But there was simple.


And there was nature.



And there was art.


And there were dreams.

And there was beauty.


I'd like to thank everyone who either emailed me or commented on my last post, What Makes You Smile? I loved reading your answers. Some of them especially made my heart melt, just a bit. There are some truly precious responses, and I'm glad that people are kind of coming together and trying to make the world just the teeniest bit of a better place. I am still collecting them so if you haven't commented or emailed me yet (amazingcaseofwanderlust@gmail.com), I'd really appreciate it! I'm compiling them all and it's coming along quite nicely, and once I've got enough, you're all going to see... It's going to be something truly special. 

-Oakstar



Saturday, 2 July 2016

What Makes You Smile?

Hey bloggers!

I've been working on a particular project of mine using the responses of my friends for a rather long time now, and I want to include the blogging community as well in the hopes of getting even more widespread answers.

I realize, especially in light of recent tragedies in the Orlando area and in the world in general, that as a human, being happy can be a very difficult thing. With Donald Trump in the running for president in the United States, and massacres, murders, and tragedies happening left right and center nowadays, it is becoming harder and harder to be happy.

I myself find it difficult to be happy sometimes. I look around and see that our environment is polluted, that innocent people are being killed, and that so many other bad things are happening in the world it's hard to keep track. I see that the majority of the people I know either are deeply affected by these situations or are too oblivious to care.

We can't spend our lives grieving for the world, the victims of the Orlando tragedies, and all of the other people in the world currently suffering from starvation, from sickness, from so many other horrible things.

I realize that I'm not the only one that must be struggling to find light in the world. I see it with my friends, and with people that I know.

So, I'm reaching out to everyone that I know to put into question the universal sign of happiness: the smile. 

I see people who can look at the world and recognize the hatred in it, but who are still able to appreciate the beauty in their lives and smile and glow.

My challenge for you today is to answer this question: What makes you smile?

Everyone smiles for different reasons, and I'm looking to compile a list of reasons to smile through as many people as possible. Your answer can be detailed and in a paragraph form, or as a sentence. When I get enough answers from people in my own life as well as people online, I'm going to put them all in the same place, giving credit to each contributor, so we can all see the diverse reasons to smile, even among all the pain and suffering in the world.

You can answer in the comments section below or send it in email form at amazingcaseofwanderlust@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance to all those who share their reason(s) to smile!

-Oakstar

p.s.: Thanks for 30 followers! Seeing that people read what I have to say really makes my day.

Thursday, 9 June 2016

For Narnia

A lot of avid readers I have met have told me that their gateway fandom was the Harry Potter series.

And, for the past few years, I was nearly certain that it was mine too. It was what first got me into reading, right?

But there was one before that. One that stuck with me and defined a large part of my childhood, that shaped me as a young girl, that encouraged me to believe in magic and impossible things.

That was The Chronicles of Narnia. 

I never even finished the series. When I was nine or so, I read a spoiler about the fate of Susan in The Last Battle and couldn't bring myself to read anymore after The Voyage of the Dawn Treader- but it was mostly because I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

For a long time, I thought that my entire childhood had been modeled after the literary heroines of Hermione and Katniss. I had read those books young, but I had been younger when I first read Narnia. I fell in love with the simplistic writing style of C.S.Lewis, and I fell in love with the imaginative world. I fell in love with the magic of all the impossible things, and with the raw power of Aslan, and with the bravery of Peter and logic of Susan. And most importantly, Lucy was my first hero. She had the good qualities I wanted to find in myself. She was kind, brave, spirited, and bright. Her childhood curiosity led her to discover the magical world of Narnia. Her faith in the good made me believe.

I modeled my childhood after Lucy, and I'm so glad I did. I hoped so much to discover Narnia that I created it myself. I knocked at the back of my father's wardrobe, I believed that creatures hid behind the bushes in my backyard, and there was a funny looking flower in my school playground that I spent countless lunches looking at, trying to figure out how to squeeze some of the magic out of it that I was sure it contained. My childhood was full of potential means of magic, and it was all because of Narnia.

via


But that is not the only thing for which I have to thank Narnia. Narnia gave me brothers and sisters. There weren't a lot of friends that I could really count on until the age of eleven or so. I've never had any siblings, but the love between Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy showed me that special fraternal love, which gave me hope. 

look at how young they look


I remember watching The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe for the first time. In my eight year old eyes, it was an absolutely perfect film and I craved for more of it. I watched the Special Features disc. The actors looked like they were having so much fun together, and there was such love onset. The bloopers were hilarious. I decided that day I was going to be an actress. From there, I branched on to musical theatre, and from there I've been a part of four different musicals and I've met the most amazing people. Some of my best friends are from acting. I created my own little Narnia. 

When I watched the three movies this past week, I was worried it would feel like I'd be trespassing on my childhood, but I was really just rediscovering it for the magical world it had given me. All the memories came rushing back. I remember being the first in the audience on the opening night of Dawn Treader, and I never went in first in a movie theatre again because it was my way of showing how special and influential it had been in my life for a long time. I call my cat by its name Lucy every day, without realizing why I had named her Lucy in the first place. 

Narnia made me believe I could do anything I set my mind to, which defines me even now in my teenage years. I am so grateful I discovered Narnia during such an influential time in my life, and rediscovered it now, just like the Pevensie children did in Prince Caspian. Will I discover it a few more times before I'm fully grown? 

I don't feel that I've learned all my lessons from Narnia yet. I think there are still a few more ways it can change me. I think it will come back again, at least one more time. I will call upon it again.

And it will come when I call.

There's no need to say goodbye.






Monday, 30 May 2016

Girl Guide Camp Photos 2k16

Our food shelter :)
Hey bloggers!

I usually don't share many images from my adventures and excursions, but today, I will be sharing a few with you guys because some of them turned out to be quite beautiful.

Hope you enjoy :)

I discovered this little bench on a hike up to a cliff ledge. It was perfect, placed in a simple area surrounded by shrubbery.

This was a rather marsh-like area we had to cross to get to the cliff. It was extremely beautiful yet smelled of fish.

The entire campsite was full of diverse forest and green life forms. Truly some fascinating images.
This was our tent. It housed four people.

We crossed many wooden platforms and hobbled along wooden logs to get everywhere.
Here it is, the view from the cliffside! It was absolutely breathtaking. You could hear the wind whistling through the top leaves of the trees, and if you listened closely, you could hear the gentle trickling of the peaceful waters.
Girl Guide campfires are always something incredibly special. The smoky smell from the cinders is something that can only be smelled at Girl Guide camp, and it symbolizes the group songs, the marshmallows roasting, the starry skies... everything that makes camping special.


Girl Guide camp is a wonderful thing.

-Oakstar

Sunday, 8 May 2016

Honest

Hey bloggers, I think this is the longest I've gone without posting a single blog post. There are a few reasons why and I shall be sharing them with you throughout this post. It's going to be a longer one with more writing and less lists or pictures, I believe, and it'll probably also be an extremely rambly one, so I hope you're able to stick with me.

Last week, I was in a large production of Grease with children of ages seven to sixteen. I had been working all year with the cast and we had all connected in one large group. It had been an incredibly demanding activity, but was also so amazingly rewarding. The performance weekend was one one of the best of my life, I think, and I imagine it will stay in my memory books for a long time.

When I was with the theatre group, I could always forget about everything around me. I was so focused, so concentrated on the very moment, and I was always having a lot of fun. The people there are special to me, in the way that they understand my love for theatre, but are also so caring, genuine people.

The performance weekend was a high for me. I forgot about school, about life, about the weight of life's problems, about the oral presentations I had to do and the people at school I detest and the teachers who actually think they can control our very lives. It all seemed so small compared to the love and joy that had surrounded me throughout the week of rehearsals as well as the amazing production weekend.

But then the very next day, I had school again. I had to wake up at an ungodly hour, dress in a uniform whose colours' resemble death and despair, catch a bus in which the people there only cared about the new Snapchat filters and insulting each other and talking about people who sweat too much. I had my in school drama class, which you'd think be fun for me, but is in fact absolute torture because of the sheer cruelty the teacher can display, and the unbelievably rude, racist people I must team up with to work on group projects.

There were some good things too. Physical education is usually something very frightening for me, but right now we're doing something I'm good at, and I was able to enjoy it. English is always an escape, a place to channel my thinking to somewhere other than the mysteries of the universe.

But mostly, my week was a time of sadness. Apart from the few friends I am truly close to at school, I saw little good in people. It was a huge down compared to what I had felt that weekend. My school is said to be a special one comprised of dedicated, special students, but I saw none of that. They were mostly kids who just cared about their phones or about dating or about seeming the most 'normal'.

Even a few people who call me their best friend, who I try really hard to pretend that I have some kind of sisterhood with, I saw a lot of awful in them too. I saw selfishness, and arrogance, and values that ripped me up on the inside. Except I couldn't call them out on it, because I was too afraid of sounding insensitive, as they were in need of help at the time, and I had to force myself to push my anger and sadness aside to help them as best as I could.

And then I felt bad because I know that I am nowhere near perfect either. I can be selfish, I can be loud and obnoxious. And I know my problems are just peanuts to the things that some people face. Then, thinking about other people's problems lead me down another downward spiral about all the problems in the world.

Sometimes, I see humans as beings completely primitive and ignorant and violent and not accepting of one another. Even the people I love, and even me. I preach a lot of positivity about the human race, but I have so, so much trouble seeing it myself.

I miss theatre.

I'm okay. There are a few people I can talk to, and things I can escape to, and books I can read or quotes I could find to help me. But sometimes, I just need to let all of it out. Typing this has already helped me, in a way. This is me being honest about it all, and I think honesty is one of the most important values a human can have. I can be honest here, but can I be honest in the real world?

I think, with some strength, I can.

Thanks for reading.

-Oakstar